She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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