ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
