Nicole vs. Life
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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