shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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