Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I skipped work to stalk him.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
