I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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