When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
MIDGETS
????
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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