CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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