I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
