Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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