SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
