Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
