a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize