1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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