Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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