you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
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I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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