I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
