Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
