I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
