The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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