my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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