there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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