Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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