Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
