found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize