just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
