try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
