Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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