Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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