At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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