It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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