Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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