ya dads aren't the best wingmen
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
