I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
