So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
