I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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