some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
