We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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