Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
