Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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