Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
