Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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