I am spending my child support on dildos
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
