true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
A+ Viking dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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