I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
