she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
