The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
