me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
