Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
