All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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