We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
