All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
