I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
