I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
