obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
