First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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