the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
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