Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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