then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
did i just pee glitter
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
