I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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