I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
