I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
