are you so shy because you have an std?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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