windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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