omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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