i don't like sucking hair
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
